Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Epic Fail

So I'm biting the bullet and I'm confessing (again) - that I haven't been sticking to my diet plan and that includes my goals to remain GF for 5 out of 7 days a week.  Oh, and I haven't been exercising.

As my guy friend would say...

"Womp, womp"

That would be the sound effect that you get from experiencing an epic fail.

For those of you that don't exactly know what it means to fail epically it means to fail without even trying.  Literally.  Or at least I'm pretty sure that's what it means.

In all honesty I did try...for about a week, but I didn't give it a very good effort.  And that Swap-Bot swap that I thought for sure would hold me sooooo accountable?  Well it got cancelled.  So once it got cancelled, I stopped caring, AGAIN.

Why is this so difficult for me all of a sudden?  It was so easy to lose that first 30 pounds when I started back in January.  I didn't have temptations, I stuck to my guns, I exercised every night because I had to and I knew that.

So what is my problem now?

I don't even know.

I don't believe it's TOPS because I stopped caring about the accountability of TOPS long before I stopped going.  I do believe that not having a scale at my house was a big factor so I bought one this weekend (if I don't know what I weigh then I don't need to care!).  Just as I expected I've become obsessed with it, weighing myself basically every time I'm in the bathroom.  I hope it's just because it's a new "toy" and that the novelty wears off soon because that's EXACTLY why I didn't have a scale to begin with.  I also believe that I allow myself to get way too comfortable at home after work, thus giving me "excuses" as to why I'm not going to the track or riding my bike.  It's TOO EASY for me to SAY I'm going to work out outside at home.

So here we go again.

I weighed in this morning at 168 lbs (never mind that point whatever that comes afterwards).  So this is about where I expected to be.  Thankfully I haven't left the 160's, but I'm teetering WAY too close to doing so.  I'm also going to be 100% honest here and say I ate more than half of a FULL SIZED package of those Vanilla Oreo Fudge cookies.  I went all day doing really well and then I sabotaged myself when I went out to the grocery store to buy ONE THING and the proceeded to NOT exercise, AGAIN.  I don't even LIKE Oreos and I even said to myself after one that they were "too sweet" and "not what I expected".

Needless to say what ever is left I'm bringing over to my aunt when I go visit her this week.

It doesn't stop there.

I took a nap, A NAP and then when I got up I also ate half a box of the Special K Cracker Chips.

Yup.  It was ugly.

I have an ugly relationship with food.

I brought my gym clothes with me to work today, I have no excuse not to go.  I went back and stocked up on my trusty Lean Cuisines, so there's no reason for me to buy something on the way home that gets handed to me in less than 5 minutes.

These are my basics:

Lean Cuisines and salads
Sandwiches for lunch
Homemade egg mcmuffin for breakfast

Rinse and repeat.

I am going to make an effort to look into a different gym though as I've always whined about Planet Fitness, those of you that have been with me from the beginning know that.

So that's where I'm at.  I've come clean, I've fessed up and I've let it be known.

Boy, I sure hope that in my next life I'm a skinny bitch.

By the way, did you enter my giveaway for a copy of the MyMemories Digital Scrabooking Suite?  It's a $39 value and I don't have many people entered!  I know a lot of bloggers are hosting the giveaway right now, but if you enter on more than one site you have more chances to win - so get your name on the list!!


stephanie said...

bless your heart! I understand, I'm going through a similar situation myself :(

Jill said...

Aw man. I feel ya. I just can't get myself back on track these days. I'm eating whatever I want whenever I want, and the pants are starting to get tight. Also, I go home and eat, read, watch True Blood and other stuff, and BAM - suddenly it's bed time, no exercise done. *sigh*

Ashley said...

I hope I'm right there with you in the next life. :) I am so with you on this entire post. 100%

I desperately need to get my butt in gear. I am a couple of pounds above you and 5'2. I'm considered obese. I so bad want to lose it but I have such a mental blockage with actually doing it. I want to drink my sweet tea and I want the iced mocha coffee, and I want the carbs and so on and so on.

I did great there for a while too and then I stopped. I wish I never did that. And time goes so fast and believe it or not when I was doing so well was a year and a half ago. I keep meaning to get back on track and just when I think I do, I stop. Just like that. No rhyme or reason.

Apparently I can't even pay someone to do it for me. So I really need to get on the same wagon you are.

Connie Weiss said...

That's how I was for a long time. But Paleo really clicked for me!

Good luck getting back on track! I know you can do it.

Chell said...

I can totally relate... I am always going to start my diet and exercise.... tomorrow.

Miss S. said...

You just essentially described my eating & workout plans. Stalker! =)

Let's be epic losers together okay? I am on board with your plan sister.

Sarah Kate said...

How about just skinny and leave off the bitch part? :o) People will like you more.

I don't have a lot of advice to give you EXCEPT about the scale. I do the same thing - weighing myself every time I'm in the bathroom if the scale is sitting out. I even do this when I'm at other people's houses. (Shameful!)

I solved the problem by putting my scale in the cabinet under the sink and putting all my hair products on top. I'm DEF too lazy to drag that thing out more than once a week to check my weight. Problem solved!

Don't beat yourself up too much about slacking. Everyone goes through power periods and then lazy ones. An epic fail would be gaining back your 30 pounds you worked so hard to lose!

Johanson Family said...

I feel your pain.. food is my enemy... I think we talked about this already that if I had $50 bucks, I'd spend it on food if I had the choice. Its not easy. I think by talking about it though you are doing yourself good because you are at least aware of what you are doing..I often wonder.. what are we suppose to look like? maybe we're meant to look this way? maybe this is the best of us? who knows, who gets to judge? Do what cha gotta do and i'll be proud of ya no matter what. i'd have totally reached for the chocolate oreos before the vanilla though if I were you. heh

Stacie said...

Starting and stopping is still starting, you are one step ahead of me. Keep going!

Fat in Suburbia said...

Ok so you fessed up and you're ready to kick some weight loss butt! We're all here for you! You WILL do this!

Kate said...

I'm doing the same thing. I did C25K two days and then stopped...

We've been eating out because of work schedules and I know that is the worst.

I hope you get back on track and me too. Cheers!

A Randomlicious Blog for the Soul said...

Have you tried sticking your finger down your throat? Sometimes that works :)

really though I'm with you girl! I think the best thing to do is not to beat yourself up about it if you binge or cheat, but to move on and start over the next day even stronger. Keep going and don't stop. I need to follow my own advise I've been walking and doing ok, but I could be doing better. Just need to start over!
GOOD LUCK GIRL! Wish we lived close so we could get together and walk or something.

Sandra said...

You acknowledged. Now get back in the saddle...or the bicycle...whatever, get moving. My motto: Get back on the diet!....ok, climbing off my soapbox now...I hate when I get like that...

Rebecca said...

ugh I have an ugly relationship with food too. We just love each other too much!! At least you can admit it. I like to deny it to everyone including myself until it gets really bad :(

Jill said...

Check out my blog, I gave you an award! :)

Nay said...

Wanted to come by and say Congrats on the Versatile Blogger Award from Jill:) I won too, so to celebate, I'm following all of the blogs she awarded.
So, I'm your newest follower - come visit me too,
PS: i have EPIC FAILS all the time!

Brandy@YDK said...

you are such a good girl fessing up. You can do it. you just need to find that right motivation.

Ixy said...

Blah. I'm with you...except now that I'm pregnant with twins there will be no hard-core dieting/exercising. It pisses me off to no end that I'm starting this pregnancy 20 lbs higher than last time...grrr.

Like someone said above, starting and stopping is still starting! It's always going to be a journey that has some bumps along the way. Good luck as you get back into your routine :)