Over the past day or so I've come to realize how much of an emotional eater I am. I never used to think I fell into this category. I thought my weight issues were strictly out of A) Laziness B) Due to love of food or C) Boredom. I never associated my emotions with eating nor did I associate eating with emotions.
Since Friday though I feel like I've been engorging on everything in sight. I've been going for Taco Bell runs at 11:00 at night, I'm eating whole bowls of rice, entire bags of chips, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches like it's my job, not to mention the Wendy's, pizza and buffalo wings. Most of these things I'm eating when I'm not hungry at all.
I've eaten a few times over the past few days to where I've felt sick afterwards. Today for example after I ate a whole cooked bag of rice, I felt sick so I went to lay down and ended up falling asleep for 2.5 hours.
I haven't exercised in a week, partially because I'm afraid of having the shin issues again, mostly out of laziness and lack of desire. I haven't binged or felt so lazy like this in over 6 months. I haven't even cleaned my apartment.
This all makes me very nervous. For one, I've been through this before. Two years ago around this time I was holed up in my bedroom, living with my mother, playing 8+ hours of World of Warcraft and eating bags of chips and McDonald's for meals. I was prescribed anti-depressants at the advice of the counselor I was seeing at the time, and I did continue to take them even after I wasn't able to see her, but after about a year I just stopped. I did't feel I needed them and I didn't care for some of the side effects. I do NOT want to fall into that trap again. I do NOT want all of my hard work to go down the drain because I've had a few emotional days. I still have 30 more pounds to lose, and I want to lose them, but right now it's so difficult.
So that's it. I keep saying, "Tomorrow I'll do it", "Tomorrow I'll pick it back up", "Tomorrow I won't leave work and stuff my face" but I've yet to make it happen.
What are some things you do to get yourself back on track??
By the way, thank you so much for all of your positive words, encouragement and support from my last post. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it! I know I've kind of been a Debbie Downer and I totally understand if you don't want to read it, but please know you girls are all so special to me and I'm still enjoying reading all of your entries on your blogs. :)
I almost forgot to mention! I know a lot of you have been having some challenges with Blogger, signing in and leaving comments and such. The witty Mimi over at Living in France mentioned a little fix a couple of days ago. Perhaps this can help you, I just took it directly from Mimi's post here, thanks Mimi!
Its a problem with a faulty cookie from a few weeks ago.
You need to log out and then go to the Tools section of your browser and under Internet Options, delete your temp files, cookies, etc. Should be one button that does it all.
Then after it's done with it's sweep go to the blogger homepage and before you log in, press F5.
Then log in, but don't click Remember Me.
That solved the problem for me and now I can comment on everyone's again. I hope that works for you. It sounds complicated, but it only takes a few minutes.