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Sunday, June 5, 2011

I'm still here...

Hello all.

I wanted to stop for a second and let you know that I am still here, and to tell you that things have been not so great around here the past week.

Simply coming back to real life and work got me down immediately.  I missed being away from it all, being totally unconnected, being carefree and not having to hold the hands of whiny technicians and listening to customer complaints.  I'm so underwhelmed with my job, and so lacking any kind of enthusiasm for it.  From the minute I walk in the door the people I share space with are either, A) Huffing deep sighs each time the phone rings or something doesn't go their way, B) Swearing at the wall or C) Talking about why something can't be done, or why it's impossible to be done.  I can't stand the negativity, it has brought me down so much.  Not to mention the lack of real effort that my job requires of me.  Most people would probably be thrilled to sit at a desk all day and literally do nothing, and although that does have potential to be enjoyable for me...the negativity that I'm surrounded with just overtakes anything positive about the job.

Secondly, at the beginning of the week while I was doing my C25K program, I started to experience aching and pains in my lower legs.  I pushed through them, until Wednesday night when I was out, I couldn't push through it any longer.  I was out on the trail and it got the point where I literally thought I was going to have to call someone to come get me.  I didn't think I'd be able to walk home!  I felt like someone was taking needles and just scraping them down the insides of my lower legs.  I haven't experienced pain like this before, the most painful thing I've ever experienced was having my wisdom teeth out...and that didn't come close to this pain.  After doing research I ruled it out to be shin splints.  Simply put, I'm extremely flat footed and I run with my feet out, both are causes of shin splints.  Terrific.  I'm extremely frustrated by this.  Running is NOT out of my physical realm.  I did not suddenly start some kind of high impact exercise.  In fact, all fall/winter I walked on the treadmill!  One would think that if I was going to have issues it would've been then seeing as at that point I literally went from a totally sedentary lifestyle to going to the gym for an hour each night.  Their suggestion was rest...and that's what I've been doing.  I hiked yesterday, and although it didn't flare up I still feel a dull ache in my shins.  I know I could be riding my bike or doing other exercise, but I just don't want to.

Lastly, one of my favorite uncles passed away Tuesday night.  I got the call after I got home Wednesday night.  I've never really had to deal with death on such a personal level before and there are so many things going through my mind about it.  I had to beg to have Friday off (and beg to use sick time so that I could be paid for it) for the services.  I haven't really talked to anyone about it, because I don't want to burden people with my emotions.  One thing I keep thinking is how thankful I am to have my other uncle still with me and both my aunts.  I'm so, so sad for my one aunt though.  They had just celebrated their 48th wedding anniversary.

I'm down.  I'm sad and I haven't been doing anything worth noting.  I will NOT be weighing in this Tuesday at TOPS as I have not been able to exercise and have been eating a lot of crap.  I'll be avoiding the scale as I really can't handle another setback right now.

In a post of negativity I have to find something positive to post about...

A couple of weeks ago I won one of Mamarazzi's Taking Back Monday giveaways.  I don't ever enter giveaways unless it's something I really want because well, I get overwhelmed by all the ways to enter!  Post on your blog, like me on Facebook, like the product on Facebook, Tweet about it and for each thing you do leave a separate comment!  Yikes!  I can't keep up with all of that.  Mamarazzi showcased the Etsy shop Relaxed Beauty and I simply fell in love with one of the pairs of earrings.  So I just left a comment.  I was SO thrilled that I won!


The shop owner, Carolyn was so sweet and got them out to me right away.  They came at a perfect time too, it was a little bit of sunshine during such a rough week.  I love them and I haven't taken them off since I first put them in.  Go visit Carolyn's shop, she has gorgeous stuff and visit Mamarazzi tomorrow for a new week of Taking Back Monday.


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It just isn't in me right now, but bear with me and I promise I will be back.  Love you all! xoxo

9 comments:

stephanie said...

sorry your week was so rough! wear your new earrings and smile pretty lady!

Ixy said...

What a hard week. I have had a job where there was nothing to do, and it is fun for about two days. After that you feel your brain atrophying and are in fear that at any moment someone is going to come and relieve you of your non-duties. Maybe some people enjoy being paid for nothing, but I totally understand your frustration.

And the weight stuff...many times I've stayed off the scale as well because I couldn't handle one more downer. Just do what you need to get through this not-so-great time. I find writing really therapeutic, whether it's blogging or just my personal journal. But if it becomes a chore, leave it be until it's something you want to pick up again. *Hugs*

Janna said...

Amber I am sorry you are having such a rough time right now...

The fact that you always stop by my blog and leave me encouraging words makes my days brighter...so I wanted to return the favor.

Don't give up on running...I have a little trick that my physical therapist taught me...I will do my best to explain...

A couple of times a day while you are watching tv or sitting at your desk...take one foot and point it...then air spell out your ABC's with that foot. From A-Z...it will strengthen that area and you will start to notice a difference...

I hope that makes sense...

Hugs about your uncle...

Please let me know if you need someone to talk to...I am here!

Here is hoping your week gets better!

Steph @ Thoughts From Cali said...

I am so sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time. I am sending hugs your way, and if you need someone to talk to I am here. Try to keep your chin up.
xoxo

Ashley said...

Poor gal! My heart is heavy for you. I know how much it sucks having to work someplace that sucks the happiness right out of you. I sure hope it gets a little easier on you. I hurt my hip from running 2 years ago and was in pain for 6 months from that. I can sympathize with your frustration from your shin splints. I hope this week is a better week for you! Congrats on winning the giveaway. I have never won a giveaway before either! Do something this week that makes you happy!

Connie Weiss said...

I"m so sorry that you're having a rough time. And so sorry for your loss.

If there is anything I can do...please ask!

Brandy@YDK said...

i'm so sorry you are having a bad time. that sucks. i've heard good shoes/inserts can help with shin splints. i've been there.

and i'm really sorry about the loss of your uncle.

Johanson Family said...

Sending you big ole Texas sized hugs!!! So sorry you are having a rough time.. Luckily you aren't alone and at some point or another we have all been there. I wish I could offer some positive insight for your job but that sounds like a daily life in my job and if anyone is happy, its a rare occasion. The job market is not fun and I think many companies are taking advantage of their employees thinking they have no where else to go and that they don't need to promote positive morale. It sucks. I hope happy memories fill your heart for your uncle and sounds like your aunt is lucky to have you. I can't run, my butt jiggles too much and it hurts.. great excuse eh!? At least you are trying!! hugs!

Lourie said...

A job to sit and do nothing! Sign me up. haha.

So sorry about your Uncle. It's never easy.

Maybe there is a shoe or insert out there that will correct the problem. Ouch.