Hi My Name is Amber...

And I'm an emotional eater.

Over the past day or so I've come to realize how much of an emotional eater I am.  I never used to think I fell into this category.  I thought my weight issues were strictly out of A) Laziness B) Due to love of food or C) Boredom.  I never associated my emotions with eating nor did I associate eating with emotions.

Since Friday though I feel like I've been engorging on everything in sight.  I've been going for Taco Bell runs at 11:00 at night, I'm eating whole bowls of rice, entire bags of chips, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches like it's my job, not to mention the Wendy's, pizza and buffalo wings.  Most of these things I'm eating when I'm not hungry at all.

I've eaten a few times over the past few days to where I've felt sick afterwards.  Today for example after I ate a whole cooked bag of rice, I felt sick so I went to lay down and ended up falling asleep for 2.5 hours.

I haven't exercised in a week, partially because I'm afraid of having the shin issues again, mostly out of laziness and lack of desire.  I haven't binged or felt so lazy like this in over 6 months.  I haven't even cleaned my apartment.

This all makes me very nervous.  For one, I've been through this before.  Two years ago around this time I was holed up in my bedroom, living with my mother, playing 8+ hours of World of Warcraft and eating bags of chips and McDonald's for meals.  I was prescribed anti-depressants at the advice of the counselor I was seeing at the time, and I did continue to take them even after I wasn't able to see her, but after about a year I just stopped.  I did't feel I needed them and I didn't care for some of the side effects.  I do NOT want to fall into that trap again. I do NOT want all of my hard work to go down the drain because I've had a few emotional days.  I still have 30 more pounds to lose, and I want to lose them, but right now it's so difficult.

So that's it.  I keep saying, "Tomorrow I'll do it", "Tomorrow I'll pick it back up", "Tomorrow I won't leave work and stuff my face" but I've yet to make it happen.

What are some things you do to get yourself back on track??


By the way, thank you so much for all of your positive words, encouragement and support from my last post.  It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it!  I know I've kind of been a Debbie Downer and I totally understand if you don't want to read it, but please know you girls are all so special to me and I'm still enjoying reading all of your entries on your blogs. :)

PS:
I almost forgot to mention!  I know a lot of you have been having some challenges with Blogger, signing in and leaving comments and such.  The witty Mimi over at Living in France mentioned a little fix a couple of days ago.  Perhaps this can help you, I just took it directly from Mimi's post here, thanks Mimi!

Its a problem with a faulty cookie from a few weeks ago.

You need to log out and then go to the Tools section of your browser and under Internet Options, delete your temp files, cookies, etc. Should be one button that does it all.

Then after it's done with it's sweep go to the blogger homepage and before you log in, press F5.

Then log in, but don't click Remember Me.

That solved the problem for me and now I can comment on everyone's again. I hope that works for you. It sounds complicated, but it only takes a few minutes.

I'm desperately missing this...

And this...

And even the rain...

And the stalkerish deer family (along with the bug spray perfume)...

I've been in a crabby mood all day, and to top it all off I weighed in to find that I gained back most of what I lost last week (big surprise, that was way too big of a loss for one week).

I want to go back into my woods and become a hermit.

For realsy.

Have you....

Have you heard of Three Musketeers Truffle Crisp candy bars?

They are...

AMAZING.

Seriously!

I'm not really a big 3 Musketeers person, but boy do I LOVE these.  They're 170 calories for the whole package, and so worth it.  Oh, and they're currently 2/$1.00 at Rite Aid.  Now is the time to try them if you haven't already!

Have you heard that Hines, Chelsea and Kirstie have made it to the finals of DWTS?

I personally am rooting for Hines, he just always looks like he's having so much fun, and I have a thing for football players.

But I have a feeling Chelsea is going to win, because she's really good (but I think Hines is better).  Ugh.

I hate her because she has abs that I can't even dream of having.

I'm also 100% convinced that her and Mark are doing each other...he's way too touchy feely with her.

Have you heard of Heartsy?

It's deals on Etsy shops - like Groupon.

You know...spend $12 and get a credit for $25 at a shop??

I LOVE Etsy and can spend hours browsing shops, my wallet however, can't handle that.

I mean...I have a list a mile long of things I need to get from all of your guys' Etsy shops.

Not a happy wallet.

If you sign up for Heartsy , you get a credit of $5!

And if you get other people to sign up, YOU get $5 credit!

Have you heard that I now have 30 followers??

I know right?!

It's actually 31 now.

I didn't think I'd be one of those bloggers that constantly checks stuff like that, but who am I kidding??

I was thinking this morning...maybe I'll host a little giveaway if I reach 50...

Or maybe I'll do something absurd and video tape it for everyone to see?!

Either way, I love all of my followers, and I love following all of them...you guys are all special to me.

Have you heard that I'm totally infected wedding sickness/baby sickness?

I feel like every blog I stumble on the blogger is either...

Gorgeous and getting married or...

Gorgeous and 8 months pregnant.

What gives????  I want those things too!!!

I think I'm in the wrong blogging circle.

Maybe I need the hopelessly single 20-somethings blog circle??

Does that exist??

Who am I kidding...I live vicariously through all of your wedding planning and baby prepping.

I send positive thoughts to the ways of all of my soon to be brides and soon to be new mommy friends!

  

Hopefully you're now all caught up on all things important in my world.  Today is Thursday and you know what that means....tomorrow is FRIDAY!

Egg Rolls!!!!!!

Seriously.

I can't stop thinking about egg rolls!  I want one!  I NEED one!

I took my mummy to a buffet yesterday for Mother's Day hoping they'd have egg rolls there...they didn't.  But they did have a delicious "sweet and spicy pork ribs".  I may or may not have ate way too much...but it was what she wanted!

Egg rolls, egg rolls, egg rolls!

Anyway...

I'd like to take a minute to clairify one of my confessions from Friday.  The one about me breaking up with some blogs.  A couple of people genuinely thought that I would break up with them, who I would never imagine doing so!  It seemed the bloggers that mean the most to me were questioning if they were commenting me enough or keeping up with my blog.

That was NOT my intention.

I am NOT a greedy comment whore!  I love each and every comment that is made on ANY of my posts, hell it amazes me that people even READ my entries let alone comment on them.  I'm blessed to have had the opportunity to meet some awesome people through blogging and each day am meeting more and more individuals, it really has opened up a whole new world for me.

Without giving too much away, my frustration came from:

Blogger A: Who never awknowledged my exisistance no matter how many times I commented on their blog (which was pretty frequently).  This upsets me because...it makes me feel STALKERISH!  So in an effort to avoid feeling like I was stalking this person, I stopped.

Blogger B: Who hosts a link up that I participated in frequently and I never heard anything from this person...EVER.  Not the times I linked up, or the times I commented on their blog...after thinking about it I thought, "Maybe I'm just spoiled because Mamarazzi, Shawn, IA, Janette and Glamazon all do such an AMAZING job or replying to MY linkups that they do way more than anyone else in the bloggy world does!"

Which...very well could be the case, so let's take a second to cheer on these ladies because combined they host MORE than THREE link ups a week, some of which have over 60 participants!  That's a lot of responding to people!

But that's what I'm after...being made feel like I'm NOT a stalker.

Replying to my comments to you helps that!  And you don't have to reply to EVERY one, becuase you just might not have something to say to me in return (and that's OK!)...but just help me feel less stalkerish...that's all.

And I certinately would hope that people that comment on my blog do it because they genuinely want to share something with me, and not because they feel like they have to...because well, then it becomes more like work, and if I hate work...then I expect everyone else to as well. :P

So that's that.

Although my weekend was less than productive (extremely so), I did have a very productive evening!  I did a total cleaning of my car (trust me, you wouldn't have wanted to see a before), I got ripped off by selling back old DVDs for quick cash (including entire seasons of shows for a mere $5...Yea...good thing I bought them used to begin with) and had a good workout.

Tomorrow is weigh in and I'm hoping I lost that damn .5 pound as well as at least another .5.  I feel I did fine this week, although I did eat a lot of turkey tacos and mac and cheese at the buffet....

But weekend calories don't count, right? ;)

Fashion for less at TJ Maxx!

I'm participating in Mama Kat's writing prompt link up today...I think it's usually a Wednesday link up, but it's ok to be fashionably late, right?  I've done it before, but I don't remember what day I usually do it on.  My goal is to keep up and do it each week because some of the prompts are just so great!

Today's prompt: A Memorable High School Job.

I had a small handful of jobs throughout high school.  I started working as soon as I legally could (14 here in NY).  See, it was just me and my mother growing up and at the age of 14 I needed my own money.  I wanted clothes from some place other than Ames and I didn't want to have to beg for $3 to get the newest Superteen or TigerBeat issue:

Oh the simple times, the times when my money could go to total crap and not bills...I kind of miss that money.

I digress...

When I was 16 I was able to get my first "real" teenager job, the job I was LONGING for (I worked at a theme park when I was 14 and McDonald's when I was 15)...a RETAIL job.  I walked into the mall on my 16th birthday and dropped off my application at every store.

A day later I got my first phone call from the manager of TJ Maxx.  Now...I hadn't ever shopped at TJ Maxx, it was kind of the store that when I was at the mall I just kind of didn't pay attention to, but I was stoked.  I got the job and started the following week.

I worked at TJ Maxx for my entire high school life as well as into my first year of college.  At the time...it was a frustrating job.  Picking up clothes all over the floor that people just tore off the racks, stuffing clothes onto racks when there was no room, ringing people out...ringing BITCHY people out...the list goes on.

But looking back...I'm really thankful for that job, so many things happened in my life because of that job:

* The first phone number a guy had ever given me.  I was working the register at the store and this guy just kept talking to me and guess what?  He went through the line AGAIN just to give me his number.  I didn't get it at the time (I was a late bloomer with boys) and I wasn't interested so I "lost" his number.  However...

* A few weeks after that in the same summer, I met THE boy.  You know, the boy that I mention on here once in a while?  The once dating, then friends, then dating, then friends with benefits, then friends boy.  That's right, I met him while working at TJ Maxx at the tender age of 16, (holy wow ten years we've been terrorizing eachother!).  He was working in the movie theater and one of my good friends at the time went to school with him...apparently he saw me bringing carts in from inside and it was love.  I'm cracking up just thinking about it right now. 

All of my firsts in the world of boys happened because of TJ Maxx - and well...that's just so silly to think about, haha

The most important thing that came out of TJ Maxx is the friendships.  I had some really tight friendships throughout my time at TJ Maxx.  They would fizzle out for various reasons, but the most important one sticked and that was with my BFF Alison.  The one I hosted the Princess Party with!

I thought Alison was a total weirdo when she started working at TJ Maxx about two weeks after I had started.  She always said, "Hey!" to me when we passed (clearly, she was a complete bitch!).  One day we bonded over a Ferrero Rocher.

Alison knows me best.  My BFF Alicia who I've known for 15 years doesn't even know as much as Alison does...I mean we LIVED together for two years!  We've had our ups and downs, but I'm glad we've always found our way back to eachother.  Our friendship is definitely the best thing to have come out of working at TJ Maxx.

Oh, and the cheap clothes.  I had the best wardrobe then.



Organization Event

I've been inspired.

I've been inspired to be ORGANIZED and have a proper order to everything in my life...well, ok...not EVERYTHING, BUT I've started off with, you guessed it...FOOD.

Because well, food is my life.

I know I should think of food as fuel and not life, but...whatever.

I ENJOY FOOD AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO ADMIT THAT!

But anyway...today while I was working hard I got inspiration to create an Excel file to help me with menu planning/calorie tracking.

Now let me give you a little bit of background:

A couple of years ago I got a pretty incredible job opportunity as a technical trainer.  I basically taught people how to use computers and I had a specialty in Microsoft Office.  I didn't get certified before I left the company and I wish I did because it'd be a hell of a thing to have on my resume.  Although it was an enjoyable job (for the most part) and it paid well and had awesome benefits, there was a lot that I couldn't stand so I only did it for about two years.

The point to telling you this is I walked in barely knowing how to use Excel (I charmed them in my interview) and I walked about being an advanced user and a HUGE fan.  I used Excel as much as I could and I loved learning about all of it's capabilities (seriously, Excel is AWESOME). 

My thought was to create a workbook that would allow me to easily plan my meals for each week as well as have it bring over the calories for each food item.  I had some functions in the back of my head that I knew I could use, but I was afraid I had forgotten HOW to use them since it's been a while since I've used any of them.

Needless to say it was a success!  I'm so thrilled with the final product, I did have some help with some cosmetic stuff so I can't take ALL the credit, but I accomplished what I wanted.

This is an example of what it looks like:

Below the Grand Total row there is a blank section titled "Shopping List".  The idea is to plan out your meals, print the sheet out, write out a shopping list and then keep your menu on your fridge for reference during the week.  I think it'll help with time AND with me sticking to my caloric intake each day.

This is a rough test of it, I was still adding to the food database and testing at this point.

So anyway, I wanted to brag because well...I'm pretty impressed with myself for it.  I'm hoping to eventually encorporate it into what initially inspired me to do it and that was couponing and budgeting, but that'll be a while down the road.

I'll also have you know I got a swift kick in the butt at TOPS this week, causing me to wake up when it comes to my dieting (more on that for FAF).

I do have pictures of all my meals from today!

For breakfast I've been eating old cereal that I've got to eat up in my cupboard (I'm poor, I spent too much on Arbonne at my Princess Party :x ).  This is Cascadian Farms Organic Chocolate O's.  With some applesauce (yesterday I hate my last banana as I prefer fresh fruit with my breakfast).

You can't really tell what this is but this is actually Panera's french onion soup.  What I do is I'll buy the soup for a group and I can usually get 4-5 lunches out of it (I've been eating it all week).  So this is a serving, with a piece of the baguette and a granola bar.  I actually did NOT eat the bar, which is what I love about this soup, it keeps me FULL!

Dinner consisted of meatless/soyless chicken nuggets, fake mashed potatoes (my favorite, I know...I'm a sick freak) and a salad, with FF Catalina dressing.  This was such a good dinner!!!!

I found these fancy chocolate chip cookies that are "nutrient packed" - I'm not sure how true that is, but they're delicious.  I can have 2 for 100 calories...

I also had some pretzels!

Exercise - 30 minutes on the elliptical (3.10 mi) and 15 minutes on the arc trainer.

What has inspired YOU lately?

Most weeks - three days isn't even enough...

Wow, my three day weekend came and went faster than my two day weekends.  So sad. :(

I'm sitting here watching Monday night's DWTS trying to think of what to blog about tonight - I really don't have anything that's jumping out at me, but I felt the need to blog since well...I haven't in a couple of days!

Weekend recap...

Saturday and Sunday were both enjoyable days.  Saturday I completed some errands and got to hang out with my favorite boy - who BTW threw a fit because I asked him if me wearing eyeliner made me look old (I got this from comments that people made about Kate Middleton's make up at the wedding).  His response,

"I just told you you looked amazing, and I'm not your gay best friend."

OK

*eyeroll*

Sunday I spent a lot of time playing The Sims.  I go through phases where I love playing this game.  I don't necessarily like the game play itself, I just like building and designing houses and I'm quite pleased with my latest creation!  I also visited my BFF Alicia while she was working and let me just say she's got the best weekend gig in town!  She works in a little shop that in the two hours I spent hanging out with her got a total of 3 customers.  And she's making $10/hr with access to a computer in which she was given permission to do what she wants to on it!  Score!

Diet recap...

Eh.  I could've done better food wise in general all week - I also drank a lot of beer Saturday night, like...a lot.  Good news is I'm super poor because I went over my budget at my Arbonne party so I'll be living off of cereal, soup and bananas for the next couple of weeks - that should warrant some loss, right?

In other news...

I'm LOVING the salt scrub that I got as a hostess gift from my party Friday.

It smells AMAZING and leaves my skin SO soft.  It also basically leaves oil on your skin so you don't have to put lotion on after you get out of the shower.  Some people might not like that feeling, but I use baby oil gel as a moisturizer anyway so I'm used to it.  My skin is really important to me and I'm thinking I might be Arbonne's newest big fan, I'm even looking into what it will take to become a consultant!

Do you sell/organize parties for any kind of company?

In DWTS news...

We're only halfway through the show so I'm not sure who I want to go home yet - I didn't really like Kendra's dance, but the judges liked it and I usually really like watching Chelsea and Mark, but didn't care for their dance this week either.  Kirstie is also lacking some hard core energy tonight (that dance just finished).

I'm not going to place a bet on who I think is going to go home since last week I was devastated by Jericho.

Wedding, Wedding, Wedding, Wedding, Wedding

THIS IS IT!

We are less than 24 hours away from the wedding of the year, nay, wedding of the DECADE!

Did you read the program?

I did, you can find it here.  Do you know anyone who will be over there that can buy me one?  I will reimburse in full. 

Did you stock up on your Wills and Kate memorabilia?

Like the infamous coin that looks nothing like either of them:

Or perhaps the ever popular plate:

I for one would like to try some of the "Kiss Me Kate" beer:

And thanks to Becky for sharing these gems that I so wish I could have for my party tomorrow:

I spent this morning watching Good Morning America while getting ready for work full of smiles and giddyness.  Everything about it is so magical, I can't help but be totally engrossed in it.

What is she thinking right now?  What is she doing?  What will she be wearing tomorrow?  What's HE up to today?  Playing soccer with his buddies again??

I have a feeling it's going to be a very tailored dress btw...not big and billowy like Diana's.  I hope she wears her hair down, because she has a fabulous head of hair.

I'm all smiles today - we're being slammed at work and my schedule for next week is all messed up, but I don't care.  I have tomorrow off and I get to watch some amazing festivities.  I also don't have to take 400 phone calls from this annoying employee that calls me 400 times a day (I'm not over exaggerating here BTW) or from annoying customers and DON'T forward to voicemail!

This day would only be better if I was over there camping in a princess tent with the rest of the lucky bastards that are there.

But I would probably pee my pants in excitement, which could be embarassing.

So maybe it's best that I'm not there.

I'm also super excited to be entertaining for the first time in my apartment!  My BFF Alison and I are hosting an Arbonne party and it was initially going to be a royal tea party celebration  but it's now become a spring wedding celebration.  Either way the dress code is "your best princess attire" and there will be enough scones, breakfast tea and petit fours for all of Britian.  Ok, maybe not ALL of Britian, but enough for us Anglophiles for sure.

This is a very exciting time for me, I only hope I feel the same excitement if I ever get married - hah!

We won the civil war so we don't have to care

So I have a confession.


I know it's not Friday, but I have to share because I can't hold my excitement in any longer!!!


I requested a day off.


I don't ever request time off - I also don't even have any vacation/sick time at work so I won't be getting paid for my day off.  Luckily I got an extra paycheck in the month of April so it shouldn't hurt me.


So what day did I request off?


Next Friday.


Why?


So I can watch the Royal Wedding OBVIOUSLY!!!!!

I'm also hosting a royal tea party themed Arbonne party that evening with my BFF Alison.


I'm planning on taking the foam mattress off my bed and putting it in my living room Thursday night, so I can wake up at 3:00 to watch the festivities and roll around on my living room floor in sheer joy.


I


AM


WICKED


PUMPED


!!!!!!!!!!!!

You've been warned.


In other news, today it rained for like the third day in a row.  Whateves.  It stopped long enough for me to get a good 10 mile bike ride in.  I dare say the sun even came out a bit.


There were all kinds of critters on the trail today.  I saw a swimming beaver/weasel thing.  Do weasels swim?  I wish I could've gotten a picture of it, he was super sweet but he blended in with the water really well and it was kind of cloudy so I don't think I would've gotten a good pic.  I also saw two giant geese like birds in the swampy area with HUGE feet, a gorgeous cardinal and a ton of robins. 


I did get one picture:

This Mr. was kind enough to stop and pose for a picture, although he still looks super far away.  I think he was less than impressed with me as right after I snapped the picture he jumped in the water...


So I didn't get pictures of 2 of my 3 meals again today.  This has to do with me making my lunch in the morning while getting breakfast ready and I'm really rushed.  That whole waking up an hour earlier thing?  Yea that stopped like two weeks ago...shame really, I should revisit that idea.


But anyway...my meals:


Breakfast
Bagel Thin w/CC 140
Applesauce 45


Lunch
Salad Mix w/dressing 75
Egg 75
Cheese Ravioli 180


Dinner

Meatless/Soyless chicken nuggets 225
Broccoli and rice with cheese sauce 150


For a snack after I had:



Ok....maybe I had two packages :P

Not bad today food wise - definitely better than what it's been!



Monday Mumblings

I'm sure you all already are well aware of my disdain for Mondays.  In general, I'm no fan of any day of the week and I think it has something to do with this thing called work.

I'm going to be flat out honest here and say I don't like my job.  It's boring, it's stressful I don't much like dealing with people's issues with our product, I don't like having to manage/oversee individuals and there's a few people at work that I'd rather not have to see/hear on a daily basis. 

So why am I working there?  Well I haven't had a job for longer than two years since I've graduated college for various reasons, but I'm starting to think it's looking bad when I hand out my resume.  So I feel like I need to stay here for a reasonable amount of time.   I also accepted this job when I didn't have one so I was in no position to turn it down, however it's not exactly what I thought it was going to be.  I also have a feeling they want to dump more stuff on me, and to be honest, I'm not interested.  No amount of a pay increase would make me interested either.

There are some things I do enjoy about my job.  I have a really great supervisor, I enjoy the "office duties" aspect of it like filing and clipping papers together, I got a really big Christmas bonus when I had only been there a month and I can e-mail my friends and browse blogs when it's slow.

But I have to admit I had to think long and hard about those positive things.

I feel stuck.  If you read my last entry, I HATE that feeling. Hate.

Alright, I'm done whining now.

I had a lovely weekend.  There was an expo!!!!!

The Adirondack Sports & Fitness Summer Expo.  So of course my expo partner in crime and I went.  I particularly enjoy this expo because of all the event booths there are.  It's interesting to see all the bike and running races that go on in the area.  I also enjoy seeing all the toursim booths.  This year they had a free photobooth!!  Of course we took advantage...

They also had OWLS!  Look at this little guy...

He also had a friend...



Scream 4 was super fun, thanks for asking!  My bff Alicia and I both agreed that it made us feel really young (nostalgia) and really old (the kids in the movie were like 16?) at the same time.  It was conflicting.  We had a good time and it was exactly what you would expect from a Scream movie.

Tomorrow is weigh in.  You're probably thinking, "I know I know, you ate like crap."  and really?  I did.  I had fast food more than twice, I ate cake, I ate ice cream, and I had more than one milkshake.  I need to snap out of this funk and I think I have to go back to posting my meals and blogging about my exercise. 

For anyone that didn't follow me then, this blog was initially a weight loss blog so I would post photos of my meals with calorie count each day.  It made me accountable to myself.  I've NOT been logging what I eat and obviously I've NOT been posting about my meals here on my blog.  Need to get back on track.

So be prepared to see some food pictures - and if you don't, YELL AT ME.  Email me, post nasty comments and do NOT let me get away with it!!!

I hope everyone had a great weekend!

Stylish Blogger Award

Can you believe that someone has awareded ME with this award?!  Nothing about me says I'm "stylish" - but I don't think that's the point of the award anyway.  I think it's more like and award for just being...awesome?  Maybe...I'm going to go with yes.


The gorgeous Miss Ashley from MrsHocusPocus has chosen me as one of her five to pass the award on to!  Isn't she so sweet??  And - I told her it came at a perfectly convienient time because because work is slow and I'm all caught up on my weekend blogs and e-mail! :)  Ashley is a sweetheart and we share a love of Panera's french onion soup so go ahead and visit her and tell her I sent ya!


So part of winning the award is telling you all 7 random things about myself...here it goes!

 1. I'm the newest member of the Adirondack Mountain Club's Glens Falls-Saratoga Chapter!  I signed up yesterday and I'm SO excited.  I'm thrilled to be able to participate in the programs they put on without having to con less than thrilled friends into going with me.

2. I'm an only child and my mother never married.  It was lonely growing up, I had a lot of board games but no one to play with.  I don't think I'd trade it in to have a sibling.  Dealing with my mother is enough (we don't really get along that great).

3. I've been blogging since January, but I've switched hosting sites THREE times.  Yes, I'm that indecisive about EVERYTHING in my life.  I like change - I don't like feeling like I'm stuck.  It kind of upsets me to know that I don't really have good documentation of the last few months when I HAVE been blogging about them, but that's the consequence of being indecisive I guess, haha

4. I love all things Disney!  In particular I'm a big Mickey Mouse fan.  I tend to buy random stuff just because it has Mickey on it so I have some random household decor that has Mickey on it.  I also collect Mickey Mouse glassware like mugs and cups.  I usually find them at garage sales or flea markets although I did get a good deal on two plastic cups from Target a month or so ago.

5. I don't have a lot of patience and have a short temper.  As you can imagine they don't go hand in hand very well.  What little patience I have is for little kids.

6. My two most favorite foods are PIZZA and PASTA SALAD.  Two things I could eat all day, everyday.  I'm constantly trying to think of new ways to incorporate pizza into my diet without blowing my calorie intake for the day, but really there's nothing better than pizza joint slices with ranch or some pasta salad drenched in italian dressing and over crowded with cheese, pepperoni and onion.

 

 

7. I LOVE Boston.  LOVE - it's my second most favorite spot ever.  It's the only city I'd ever live in if I was forced to live in a city.  I never get tired of visiting it (or the aquarium).  I didn't make it out there last summer so hopefully I will this summer.  My first favorite spot?  Lake Placid, NY.  I hope someday to live there.

Lake Placid, NY



Boston

  

So now who to pass the award on to?  Well I'm a little torn on this because I have a feeling that most of the blogs I love to read have already done this and I would like to try and keep with the idea Ashley had about recognizing a couple of the smaller blogs soooo here it goes!

Annette @ NotMollyMom

Vanessa @ JFamForLife

Beth @ Living A Godess Life

Brandy @ You Don't Know...

Connie @ Young and Relentless

I have so many blogs that I follow and love that it was really hard to pick individuals out for this - I also have a feeling a few of you have already done this so I apologize for any repeat awards!  I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

For real, I'm not sucking up here.

There are a couple of rules that go with this if you choose to accept the award and pass it on to 5 other bloggers:

 

1. Link back and thank the person who gave it to you.

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

3. Award 5 stylish blogs you read.

4. Contact them and tell them about their award!

 

Have fun!!!

Fat Ass Friday

What up ya'll!  I'm checking in for the week and linking up with Brandy's Fat Ass Friday.

Stats:

Starting weight: 192.0
Last week's weight: 168.0
Current weight: 167.5
Weight +GAIN / -LOSS this week: -.5
Total weight lost: -24.5

Yikes...half a pound.  Now, they make fun of me at TOPS when I say, "I only lost..." - and I know that's not a good outlook to have, but I can't help it sometimes.  The reality is, I ate REALLY crappy during that week and I was lucky to have gotten a loss at all.

This week has kind of been going the same way.  I'm not sure what it is.  Maybe stress and frustration with work and life in general?  Or maybe because I was so lax with myself and allowed myself to have foods I haven't had in months, I got those cravings for them again?  Or maybe I'm just having a couple of weeks where I just can't seem to get enough food and I'll snap out of it?

All I know is I just wasn't feeling it again this week.

I wasn't nearly as much of a free bird as I was last week - but I definitely had one too many fast food stops.

I need a hard core kick in the ass.

On another unrelated note, I would like to officially declare myself "Mean Porch Lady".

Yes, that's right.  You see, I live in a three family home, downstairs, in the front.  One of the perks of this particular apartment is I get about 75% of the huge wrap around porch and I LOVE it.  I like to sit outside and read on warm days or have some drinks with a friend or two, I also enjoy planting flowers in the little pots that are on the banisters and this year I even plan on buying a little grill for it.

Now there's another downstairs apartment, a two bedroom behind me.  A couple of months ago a family with THREE kids moved into it.  I've been dealing with the noise, in all honesty the people that lived back there before weren't the most quiet anyway and well...that's apartment living.  The lady that lives back there is also nice to me, which the one before was a total BITCH so I give her a pass.

However...

Her little boy (who's 7 or 8 I'm guessing) and his friends play on my part of the porch.  Their playing includes:

• Running back and forth
• Running and jumping over the banisters (which is just a broken bone waiting to happen)
• Playing some sort of hockey game
• Parking their bikes and scooters on my steps
• Knocking my chairs over

This afternoon while I was trying to take a nap with my Bear (my bedroom is in the front of the house) - this is what was going on.  My blood started boiling, I felt it bubbling in my head, my heart started racing and I couldn't take it anymore.

I jumped up, put my pants on (who wants to sleep in jeans?), flew open my front door (which the one little boy was leaning against my screen door and he jumped about three feet), opened the screen door and said:

"YOU BOYS NEED TO STAY OFF THIS PORCH YOU'VE GOT THE WHOLE YARD TO PLAY IN!!!"

They had a look of total shock and terror in their faces.

And then I slammed the door shut.

Oh, can I also add in here that last week when I had my side door open to let some air in, the little boy stood in front of the screen staring into my living room - I also slammed the door closed that time.

Last summer I dealt with the kid out back playing under my living room window all the time.  Sometimes I'd have to shut my windows just so I could have a conversation on the phone, but I didn't say anything because she was still on her side of the porch.

I pay money to live in this apartment and I pay money for that porch, nothing irritates me more than my personal space being invaded.  That porch for the remainder of my time in this apartment is MY personal space.

And I'm not dealing with that shit.  I'm just not.  And yes, I'll admit I threw a temper tantrum and I'll admit I tend to throw them a lot.  I have a pretty epic temper that I inherited from my mother.

So anyway, I should probably change the title of my blog to Mean Porch Lady, since that's what I'll be known as to the neighborhood kids for the rest of the time that I'm living here.

I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!

10 Things Childcare Proviers Won't Tell You

I found this article today on Yahoo! and seeing as though a lot of my bloggy friends are parents, and I consider myself well versed in the world of childcare, I couldn't help bust post about it.  My thoughts are italicised and colored. Keep in mind that I am NOT a parent, but I've worked in childcare for about 5 years total off an on since I was 18.  I've done everything from being break relief, a infant teacher (lead and assistant), a preschool lead teacher and director.  I also babysit for two families fairly frequently in my spare time.

So below is the article and it can also be found here.

You leave your child with them day in and day out, and you trust them completely. But there are some things even your childcare provider won't tell you — about your child, your peers, and maybe even yourself.


The following are 10 things your baby-sitter, nanny, and day-care operator won't tell you. (To protect their anonymity, some of the childcare providers interviewed asked that we identify them only by first name.)


1. The way you treat your childcare provider matters
You might be in a rush to drop off your child at daycare or pick them up on your way home, but that's no reason to not take a moment to be kind to your childcare provider. "The parent should speak to the childcare provider in the way they want their child to act: Courteous, use pleases and thank-you's," said Mathilda Williams, who runs an in-home childcare facility in New Jersey. "Yes, the childcare provider works for you, but that doesn't mean they can be treated without respect. If the child sees his mom or dad speaking to the provider without respect, this is what he will learn."

Yes, yes, yes!  Some of you have probably already read some of my comments about my one family that is a little less than generous with pay and only recently really started warming up to me.  You know what that means for that family?  I could be totally available, but if I don't feel like babysitting for them, I don't.  My main family however - I'll drop plans to babysit for them.  I admit, they spoil me, but YOU SHOULD SPOIL YOUR SITTER!  She's caring for your children!
In a day care setting, it's the parents that just flew in and flew out each day without even saying hello were often times the ones with the difficult children.  YES, your children are watching you and YES they're picking up your crappy manners.  Besides, don't you WANT to talk to your child care provider?  Don't you WANT to know how your child's day was?

2. Timing is important
Being on time to pick up your child matters not only to your daycare provider, but also to your children. "The child may think that he doesn't matter, because his mom or dad makes no effort to pick him up on time," says Williams. "Children learn very soon that their friends are picked up early or on time, and they are only picked up after everyone else has gone home already. They will resent that. "

Yes on this too.  It's not just timing because the children see that their friends are being picked up and they aren't but it's timing out of respect for the center and childcare employees.  WE HAVE LIVES OF OUR OWN MAN!  Some employees even have, *gasp* CHILDREN of their own.  Our day isn't over when all the kids are gone, we have to clean rooms, organize and plan for the next day.  You choosing to not pick your child up until 10 minutes AFTER the center closes isn't only hurting them, but it's making their caregivers resent you.
And we know if you're going to work or not - bringing your child in on your days off (TEACHERS) REALLY bothers us.  I understand for a couple of hours to run errands, but for the entire spring break?  Why did you even HAVE children?
As far as babysitting goes...I don't really care what time you get home, as long as you've got cable.


3. Nannies are not maids
Lisa, a nanny in Greenville, S.C., said she was fired when she refused do housework. "Because I didn't feel like cleaning the bathroom, they decided to put [the child] in daycare," she said. Nonetheless, families can confuse the role of a nanny. For her part, Tina Carey, a full-time nanny in the Boston area, once quit a job because she didn't want to polish the family's silver. "I said, 'No, ma'am. If you're looking for a housekeeper, that's not me.'"
"Nannies don't mind cleaning up the house," said Candi Wingate, president of Nannies4Hire, "But it's discouraging when another mess is waiting for them when they report to work the next morning. It is reasonable to expect a nanny to clean up after the children, but it is not customary to expect nannies to be responsible for all housecleaning tasks."

I understand this one - but it doesn't effect me and to be honest, I'm happy to pick up after the kids, do dishes or throw a load of laundry in FOR MY MAIN FAMILY and that is simply because I love them (they don't ask me to do any of that).  Anyone else however, not so much. 
When looking for a nanny I think it's important to draw a line, do you expect this person to do light housework?  If so you need to make that CLEAR.


4. They see other nannies yelling at — or ignoring — other children
For every childcare provider who engages her charges at the park, there are countless others chatting on their cell phones or talking with friends. Carey said she once witnessed a little boy nearly get hit by a car while his nanny napped on a blanket at the park. "There used to be a caregiver I would see at the school ... who would constantly scream at and berate the child she looked after," said a nanny named Jennifer. "I wondered how the child's parents could have hired a woman like that."

You want to hear something scary?  A lot of people that work in childcare centers DON'T even LIKE children.  So why are they there you ask?  Childcare centers have an extremely HIGH turnover rate - and as for the state of NY goes, there are a lot of regulations and qualifications one has to meet to be employed at a center.  What does that mean?  THEY WILL TAKE WHAT THEY CAN GET.  If you're looking for any kind of job and meet the qualifications, they WILL take you.
Childcare is a rough industry to be in, it's thankless, it's crappy pay and it's long tiring hours.  In my opinion, I don't know how people that don't like children make it, but some do and some have no problem yelling at your child or completely ignoring them.

5. A little thanks goes a long way
Don't skimp on the person who ties your children's shoelaces, fixes them a snack, and wipes their tears. "I spend five to seven days a week helping her raise her kids and for Christmas, I got a re-gifted mud mask," said Lisa. "I totally cried," she said. "I didn't even write a thank-you note."
Speaking of thank-you notes, you might want to send one from time to time. "When the nanny goes above and beyond, a thank-you note or little perk is a nice touch," said Wingate. "Nannies, like everyone else, need to feel that their good work does not go unnoticed."

This goes back to the first concept.  If you bring your child to daycare everyday, think about it, your child spends more time with THEM than they do YOU.  Eventhough you're paying $150+ a week on childcare, they're making about $10/hr or less.  ANYTHING you can do to let them know you care about what they do can go a long way.  I even have one of my preschoolers bring in flowers for me one day, and the same one brought me in a picture of him (I won't lie, I loved this kid more than anything), but it's those little touches that mean a lot to caregivers. 
Also, don't skimp on Christmas.  It doesn't need to be something bought, have your child make something.  We tear out our hair trying to think of something THEY can make for YOU the entire month of December!  One Christmas I had a parent give myself and my co-teacher a Coach wristlet with a giftcard and it made caring for her little shithead (seriously) a little bit easier after that. :)


6. You need to discipline your children
"Some parents don't believe in discipline," said Carey. But giving in to temper tantrums essentially tells kids that yelling and screaming will get them what they want. "Kids are smart," Carey said.
Of course, your kids might be better behaved when you're not around. "Why does your kid listen to me and not to you? Because I set firm rules and stick by them," said certified preschool teacher Dionne Obeso. "You're a softie, and your kids know it."

We are not in the business of telling you how to raise your children, but we know for sure if you a) spoil your child rotten and give them whatever they want or b) ignore the fact that your child is a little shithead.  You're not doing the child, yourself or US any favors by not having a good and consistant discipline system.
Think about when you were growing up, when spanking wasn't a form of abuse and you weren't cradled and told how special you were everyday, when not EVERYONE got a trophy or award?  Did you make it out OK?  I'm guessing you probably did.  NOTE:  I'm not endorsing spanking as a part of a discipline plan, but parents shouldn't be looked down on for choosing that method IMO.
Everyone is so afraid of damaging their child - you're parents, it's your JOB to damage your child and it's also your job to discipline them.
Oh, and on a side note, going into a store and pointing at an employee and saying, "See that girl???  If you don't behave, she'll kick you out!" is NOT OK.  Don't make ME the bully because YOU can't control your child.


7. Your child might be a bully
"If your children are getting into fights regularly, they are probably starting them," said Obeso. If you see bites or bruises on your child, ask your childcare provider who is actually hitting whom. They might be afraid to tell you on their own.

I've got nothing on this one - I have no problem telling you if your kid can't keep his or her hands off other kids OR adults.

8. Your kids need more attention … from you
Lisa works for a family where both parents travel often. "The kids do miss them," she said. But parents also need to be present when they are home. The 10-year-old boy she babysits was trying to read his father a story he wrote recently. "The dad had his face in his Blackberry and was like, 'Uh huh, uh huh.'" Lisa said the boy acts out when he's missing his parents. "He wakes up every night, at least twice in the night and asks for his mom. He starts to cry," she said.

This is a given, I mean, why have children if you don't care what they have to say or don't want to make an effort to spend time with them?  In a time where we are bombarded with technology, where people think they have to be working or connected 24/7 you NEED to put the phone down, shut off the computer and tv and DO SOMETHING as a family.  Cook a meal together, go for a walk around the block or have family reading time.  You CAN make it work if you want it to.

9. Your kid has a developmental problem
No parent wants to hear that something is wrong with her kid, but caring for Little Johnny for 10 hours a day makes a babysitter pretty observant. "Being a parent myself, it's a sensitive subject," said Carey. "You want the best for your child, but you don't want to hear that."

This is hard on many levels.  Firstly, some of us may be professional educators but we are definitely NOT doctors.  We DO know if something isn't right, but we're probably not going to tell you for the reasons stated in the article.  Also, it's hard for us to say, "Yea, totally, something isn't right" when you ask us if we think there's an issue, especially if we care about you and the child, WE don't want to see them struggle either.


10. You get what you pay for, and what you seek
Childcare providers might not be willing to market themselves based on price alone, but "you most certainly get what you pay for in terms of childcare," says Melody Rubie, owner and president of Smart Start Sitters and Nannies in New York City. "I recommend parents cut back on less crucial items, such as pricey enhancement classes, rather than paying less for a less qualified caregiver who could significantly impact your child's budding self-esteem and restrict their experiential learning for many hours each week."
If you're expecting someone who will teach your young child, make sure they're qualified, or that they're actually going to provide the services you assume they are going to provide. Children's book author Jennifer Lynn Pereyra found that out when she put her oldest daughter into childcare. "We were expecting that when she was three that they would start to teach her letters and numbers. Well, we came to find out that this particular center believed strictly in learning through play and not doing any type of structured learning."
With her second daughter, Pereyra observed two things about the center they had chosen: The employees had all been there more than 10 years, which showed her they were happy in their jobs. "I chalk this up to solid management practices," she said. "I firmly believe that good management equals happy, tenured teachers, and happy teachers produce happy children."

There's a lot to this particular statement.
Firstly - if you're looking for a nanny that's qualified and is going to teach your children full time, you BETTER pay well AND appreciate what they do becuase they are OVERQUALIFIED to be doing that.  They're also doing it without many benefits like health insurance, retirement and paid vacation time.
Secondly - if you're looking into a childcare center, SHOP AROUND.  Research as much as you can.  There are offices where their soul purpose is to help parents find the appropriate childcare.  They have a listing of all local centers as well as information on if they've been violated or not and who owns them.  Did you know that information is available online?  You should probably check and see if YOUR day care has had any violations lately.  Contact your local OCFS (Office of Child and Family Services) office to get the information.
Lastly - When researching centers, don't skimp on out basic questions like, what their teaching philosophy is (or do they not have one?), what kind of food do they serve the children (do they even include food?), what is THEIR discipline policy, how often do children go outside, are there computers in the rooms, do they watch television frequently, what is their medical policy?? 


The last thing I'd like to say about the topic of day cares is, if your child's teacher tells you your child needs something (extra clothes, diapers, wipes etc.), WAKE UP AND BRING IT IN!  SOMETIMES parents of children who move up to a new room might leave behind a donation of diapers or wipes, but rarely is there extra for YOUR child if you choose to not bring it in.  So where does it come from?  ANOTHER CHILD'S STASH!  How do you like knowing that your son or daughter's diapers are being used for someone else because their parent doesn't bring stuff in?  How would you like it if a child had an accident and the only thing the teacher could find was a pair of pants in your child's cubby?  We'll try really hard to get those pants back...but sometimes they're gone for life. 
Do everyone a favor and bring crap in if your teacher asks you to.  It's one thing if you forget once, but for a whole week?  Get it together!  And if you REALLY want to be loved by your center, donate any clothes that your child has grown out of - even the torn, stained ones, including shoes!  If you're just going to throw it away, there's probably a day care that will be happy to take it off your hands (and that's a general statement to everyone).

So like I said - I'm not a parent so I certinately don't expect parents to NOT roll their eyes at me, but I AM a childcare provider and I've dealt with a lot of parents and children over the years so hopefully this gives a little bit of insight to you from the OTHER side. :)